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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

An open letter to Beyoncé Knowles


Dear Beyoncé,

I know I haven't always been nice to you, I often doubted your top entertainer status and almost always mocked your ridiculous outfits. I also tend to think you will never topple Crazy In Love. On some points (outfits), I was right. But I was wrong not to admit you're one of the best pop performers currently in activity. Up there with Madonna and Kylie


Your performance at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards was just amazing. Powerful, visually stunning, vocally perfect, and exciting throughout. OK, it probably cost the equivalent of Malawi's GBP (no worries, Madonna's working on fixing that), but it was everything that can be expected from a great popstar. Thing is there aren't many pop acts in the world who can deliver the way you do. Britney? A flacid piece of jelly who can barely move. Rihanna? A stripper who can't sing on key. Katy Perry? Great tits. Gaga? The definition of "trying too hard". Christina Aguilera? Missing in action. The only two I can think of in terms of great stage entertainment (besides the aforementioned Queens of pop) are Shakira and Pink.

But let's be honest. You tore the competition into pieces last night. So OK, the song isn't great by any means, and the video and performance suggest that it doesn't work on its own (or at least without visuals), but hey, it's all about You Tube and primetime TV, right? Hopefully your new album "4", which comes out in late June will contain a Halo, an Irreplacable, a Single Ladies or (a man can dream) a Crazy In Love. If not, you'll be forgiven cause we'll all still be watching that performance in four month's time. 

As Madonna is nowhere to be seen at the moment, the Kylie campaign and tour are behind us and the Gaga overdose is not really getting me excited, you kinda restored my faith in amazing pop performances. So for that, thank you Beyoncé Knowles.

Loïc.

PS: Tell your Mum to stop whatever it is she's doing to her face. It's almost as scary as the thought of LeToya Luckett and Latavia Roberson ever being members of Destiny's Child.

2 comments:

Liisa said...

Hi Loic,
I don't know how you can say Shakira is one of the greatest performers. I think Shakira has a backlog of the greatest pop songs ever out of all the females you mentioned (Gaga comes close but she hasn't been around for as long yet). But. I saw Gaga in Glasto 2009 and Shakira the following year. I can tell you that Shakira was nothing compared to gaga the year before. She was just moving around on stage with no show at all. She's a great charming persona for sure, but to say that Gaga is trying too hard and Shakira gives a better show is, well, like saying Bonne Maman strawberry jam tries too hard compared to the Sainsbury's basics range.
Having said that, Gaga & Shakira do have the overall best songs that none of the others can compete with no matter how they try to masquerade it with a budget equivalent to the Euro deficit countries.

ally said...

J'avoue ca rattrape son clip. Mais quand même :) Ca m'expliquera pas pourquoi soudain, elle est devenue blonde #sanspitie